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Denise Sherman's avatar

Darcy, I have wanted to respond to you since I first read this, but just not sure what exactly I wanedt to say.

It's quiet here and I just re-read your post so I will say a few things. I'm sorry for what you and your family went through, but glad you were able to see the truth and see through the issues and the controlling. We were in a church that had an extremely controlling leader and yet it took some years before putting all the parts together. I'm not sure he was narcissistic, (maybe). Also in the last couple of years a person has come into our extended family who is definitely a narcissist, with extra mental issues; thus I've read material on the subject and understand what you were writing about. I hope your post does indeed help those unfamiliar with this personality disorder. I always appreciate what you have to say, no matter the topic. God bless you!

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Darcy Wiley's avatar

I always love hearing from you, Denise. Thank you for sharing your experience. It reminds me of how common these issues are. There have been times over the years when I just kept thinking if I would try harder to connect with the person or model kindness that things would change. It can take time to realize that what we're experiencing isn't just a quirk or something a person is growing through but a continual pattern of self-centeredness that will always harm relationships. In some situations we've committed to bearing with the realities and staying in place and in other situations we've felt it necessary to withdraw altogether. There's not just one "right" way to respond, which is why discernment is such a gift.

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Sara Fichtner's avatar

Beautifully written with such thoughtful ways to reflect🙏 I know this took courage to write, thank you for sharing your experience 💛

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Darcy Wiley's avatar

Yes, expressing things like this requires careful editing alongside self care. Thanks for taking time to listen and read. There is much more to say about this topic, but I hope these little offerings will be a help to friends and readers experiencing similar things.

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Sally Rushmore's avatar

Your revelations are disturbing to me. I know I can't ask for more info on here, but maybe you and I can talk sometime. I'm so sorry for what you wrote about it and what your family experienced. I miss you and your family - esp your ministry.

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Darcy Wiley's avatar

Thank you for taking time to read and share your empathy with me. I don’t take that for granted. 💛 It was a very puzzling experience but it was also an amazing thing to pray for an extended time and have God so specifically show me what he had for me to do. Hope we can catch up sometime.

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Paola Barrera's avatar

🙏❤️‍🩹😘

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Darcy Wiley's avatar

Thank you, sister, for your listening ears and strengthening words when I was so battle-worn. 🥰

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Paola Barrera's avatar

You’ve gone through the wringer! And you’re held tenderly in the Lord’s hands ♥️. Much love to you!

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